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你以为我还会在乎吗？我在昆仑山练了六年的剑，我的心早就和昆仑山的雪一样冷了。我在大润发杀了十年的鱼，我的心早已跟我的刀一样冷了。可是当我点开这条动态，眼泪如黄果树瀑布般飞流直下，划过我的脸庞，打湿了我的人字拖，脚趾都变得酸涩。

妈的，忍不了，一拳把地球打爆！他奶奶的鸡蛋舅六的哈密瓜妹妹的大窝瓜爷爷的大鸡腿婶婶的大葡萄妈妈的黄瓜菜爸爸的大面包三舅姥爷的大李子二婶的桃子三叔的西瓜七舅姥爷的小荔枝二舅姥爷的火龙果姑姑的猕猴桃祖爷爷的车厘子祖姥爷的大菠萝奶祖奶的大榴莲二爷的小草莓他三婶姥姥大的白菜他哥哥的大面条妹妹的小油菜弟弟的西葫芦姐姐的大土豆姐夫的大青椒爷爷的大茄子嗯啊，杀杀杀！！上勾拳！下勾拳！左勾拳！右勾拳！扫堂腿！回旋踢！这是蜘蛛吃耳屎，这是龙卷风摧毁停车场！这是羚羊蹬，这是山羊跳！乌鸦坐飞机！老鼠走迷宫！大象踢腿！愤怒的章鱼！巨斧砍大树！彻底疯狂！彻底疯狂！彻底疯狂！彻底疯狂！彻底疯狂！彻底疯狂！

如果不回信息会使你愉快的话你就不要回了，我只是一个渺小的存在，不会让你注意到我，即使我发再多信息也没用，得不到始终就是得不到，我累了

你在乎吗？你不在乎，你只在乎你自己，就像你不在乎老婆饼里没有老婆一样，你也不在乎等到快要疯掉的我。我已这样了，你还能若无其事的回复我消息，那些冰冷的字句像利剑一样扎在我心上，

你要说尊嘟那也可能是假嘟，你要说假嘟也有可能是尊嘟，尊嘟不一定是假嘟也不一定是尊嘟，假嘟不一定是尊嘟也不一定是假嘟，有时候你想让它是假嘟它也会是尊嘟，你想让它是尊嘟它也会是假嘟，也不是说不能是尊嘟，但是毕竟可能是假嘟，也不是说不能是假嘟，但是毕竟可能是尊嘟，事在人为

怎么回事，好久没人讲话了，今天是工作日啊，工作日不在群里讲话是想干什么，给资本家当走狗吗？我工作日一看到群里的消息断了，我的心就发痛。

你说爱过💔痛过💔恨过💔疼过💔等过💔想过💔念过💔写过💔醉过💔笑过💔哭过💔泪过💔伤过💔 有过💔梦过💔望过💔 懂过，💔倾听过💔难过过💔无助过💔彷徨过💔忐忑过💔犹豫过💔快乐过💔悲伤过💔无奈过💔伤感过💔忧伤过💔心醉过💔

为什么你要说我笨说我傻却从来不说你有多爱我，哪怕你是这样的冷落我冷淡我，任由我胡思乱想，撕心裂肺。我也像老鼠爱大米，狗子爱吃屎一样爱着你可是你呢？你却对我不闻不问，毫不在乎，我能怎么办呢？我只能收起我的情绪爱你好了。掉价的事我也不想再说了。给我五块。买个雪糕吃吃。

可笑反正我不在乎每次艾特你的时候总是过了很久才有回复我受够了每次煎熬的等待都在狠狠的挖苦我的心我好恨恨级了恨我不能堂堂正正舍断离次次都还要你的回复

为什么大家不保存下来呢？大家不觉得这些句子很好笑吗？是吧，就我一个人这样觉得，算了，没关系反正我的枕头下面全是武器，我没事就拿大炮轰自己。

你说得对，爱是一道光，光是谁发明的？让我们现在来探索一下宇宙的奥秘吧！话说这头，张三他别了李四独自一人走在乡间的小路上，暮归的老牛是我的同伴，蓝天配朵夕阳在胸膛

一切都是冰冷的恨意，一想到这我就手脚冰凉遍体生寒后背发凉宛若人间地狱的恶魔，气的我蹲在地下车库哭了三小时，仿佛处在真空中窒息两分钟，忍不住哭了，是真的一下子就涌出来了，很委屈很不知所措很无力很愤怒！

o♪m♫g♬o♭m♫g♪妈¶呀♬妈♫呀♪好♩崩♪溃♬好♫崩♬溃♬~♩o♪m♫g♬o♭m♫g♪妈¶呀♬妈♫呀♪好♩崩♪溃♬好♫崩♬溃♬~♩o♪m♫g♬

我对得起谁？我谁都对不起，我活着就是种错误，但你那冰冷的言语就是对的吗？你小嘴巴一开一合就得啵得啵得啵得啵得啵两句，给我本来就脆弱的心里防线捅出了一个巨洞，你骂完我，你是舒服了，你把所有的责任都推到了我头上，是，我对不起所有人，但我对不起你了吗

自从进了这个群，本来月入3000就很满足的我，每天被你们洗脑，感觉一个月不赚个一百万都是不行的，走在大街上，看谁都看不起，虽然存款只有个位数，不过这个群给了我有了八位数的自信。退群是不可能退群的，这辈子都不可能退群，群里个个都是人才，说话又好听，我超喜欢在这里的。在这个群，哪怕不说话，只看你们的聊天记录都能学习到很多东西，你们的知识储备量太恐怖了，国际形势，石油期货，汉唐历史，世界名著，电子产品，高端生活，奢侈品牌，揣摩人心……统统信手拈来，而且关键是你们装B还装得特别好。确实，在这群里几年，等于读完了一个大学本科。

你说的完全错误，本来就很搞笑，只是没有倒垃圾，原因你不懂我也不懂，但是我很希望大家都善良点，拉屎声音太大影响到别人午休是很可恶的

你们都在说什么……玩梗要适度……你们这样留言是不是以为很有趣？如果我是博主看到你们这样我肯定会觉得很弱智，因为一点都不好笑，什么年代了还用酸性那么大的洁面，都说了敏感肌不能用，我舍友就是因为用了这个产品所以顺利保研了，我现在也是两个孩子的爸，希望以后一家人生活平平安安。

无事不重，余但凋叶一片，随风飘落，时念凋零自择，尚风不留，若茫海之孤鱼，莫关余意。人莫能念，若一日见人，或时命穷，人有所贪，鱼在目中，无厌之财，资于目内，摇钱树;有人捕鱼，有取蚌壳者，壳中不易，以己血肉磨珠，一颗又一枚，言珠可转，愿以十钱买珠乳茶与我。

Life is a drama. Can't you act it? I don't know why some people always doubt whether others are acting? this doubt that really angry tears in my eyeso let me down more chill I want to ask people to withdraw from the Internet for a period of time to calm down, hope you support

大学是，错误的，满课的，早八的，大创的，虛假的，不调的，通宵的，挂科的，无用的，贫困的，迷茫的，大学习的，校园跑的，考试周的，ddl的，pre的，PPT的，CAD的，phy的，形式主义的，绩点不足的，睡眠匮乏的，小组摆烂的，临时抱佛脚的，专业不对口的，拿不到毕业证的，随时随地都想退学的

什么意思（保时捷卡宴S，黑色配波尔多红内饰，选配弹射起步组件，14项座椅调节，座椅通风，保时捷专属矩阵式大灯，舒适进入，无钥匙进入，座椅配保时捷经典盾徽，21寸箭头式轮毂，火山灰金属漆）

（沉默）（狂笑）（用力舔舐手机屏幕）（砸桌子）（发出意味不明的哭喊）（跪在地上）（嚎叫）

能独立自主打出100字逻辑清晰的话语吗？逻辑学入过门没有？充分必要条件是什么？大脑前额叶皮层发育完全了吗？

除了xx会说别的话吗？中文词汇量过一千了吗？初中上过吗？修辞手法学过吗？数学及格过吗？x(x+2)=1，x=几？生物学的书本看过吗？线粒体是什么知道吗？

时间带走了我们的甜蜜，时间更让我们从亲密无间到最熟悉的陌生人，改变了太多，但是却没有改变我爱你的心，但是你不已经变了，我却还是改变不了。这样的你让我好陌生，好无助。

我觉得有些群员心态还是没有放稳，现在这么好的带薪聊天机会不珍惜，你给老板打工搬砖，你能学到东西吗？你在群里聊天，你培养的交际能力是实打实的呀，是跟着你一辈子的呀，不要把眼光老是放在工资工资上面，你将来能力有了，你去哪儿不能高就？说了这么多，一起摸鱼吧。

我知道它叫猕猴桃，但我就不明白，你为什么非要美羊羊走中路，她根本不想打NBA，你选她有什么用。个人认为海绵宝宝去打铁更利于青青草原发展，不说了吃菜吃菜。

在你不回我消息的48分钟里，我的心就像来了个大窟窿，你的承诺像一张纸一样亲，几分钟的沐浴时间让我等你，如同磐石一样，你的冷漠伤害了我，你都不出声伤害了我，我的宿舍漆黑一片，我的心也漆黑一片！

比如说铆钉啊，亮片啊，或者是绑带，bandage，还有蕾丝，这些元素其实是Glam Rock，然后加这种bling的感觉。我觉得像这个衣服，有一些jacket，比如说那个oversize的那个丹宁的jacket，我觉得我是可以off-duty的model就是在runway上面或者是off-duty，都可以去shift，它不同的场合去穿。再有我想讲一下的就是，何穗的这种mix and match，就是她身上穿的虽然是非常elegant，sexy的dress，但是配了这种比较硬的一个jacket，又有硬还有柔，然后又比较leathery，然后比较有soft的元素配合，简直就是完美！所以我觉得如果是cool girl，有taste的中国女孩，请你到我的专区来购买SJYP的系列。谢谢。

我觉得这个观点有点偏激了，外星人是紫色的，但派大星和海绵宝宝一起去抓水母了。而且依古比古的毯子好像是红色的，打碎后加入蒜末爆香，一道老人孩子都爱吃的家常菜就做好啦

你们有什么资格在这里提黑化💔地狱去过吗💔血尝过吗💔被好朋友背叛过吗💔被亲人打骂暴力过吗💔彼岸花，恐怕你们都不知道吧💔 地狱我去过💔血是甜的💔背叛过一度要自鲨💔被暴力过想要跳楼💔彼岸花？哈哈哈哈哈哈哈，就在本恶魔的手中呢💔

我知道我配不上发货，大家都发货了，不像我，连催的时候都小心翼翼，成了一个可笑的热场笑料，现实生活不顺人人冷眼相待，哪怕是在网上我也知道我配不上提早发货的门槛，我想为自己发声，我向冷酷的夜冰冷的墙发誓，我要加入那里，但我不行，我的上帝，我就是玉米南瓜浓汤里一粒飘摇居无定所的南瓜籽

如何做一个正常人，我们都知道正常人，下面就让小编来告诉你，如何做一个正常人，首先就是要坚持不懈，然后呢也不要忘记半途而废，我们都知道半途而废，像很多人都是半途而废，所以相信大家已经知道如何做正常人了，下面我们就一起试试吧

还没睡给大家表演个街舞ጿ ኈ ቼ ዽ ጿ ኈ ቼ ዽ ጿ ኈ ቼ ዽ ጿ ኈ ቼ ዽ ጿ ኈ ቼ ዽ

你知道今天是什么日子，当然也不是什么大日子，你不记得也很正常也不需要你用心去记。算了像您这样的大忙人怕是一辈子也想不起，那我告诉你吧今天是我的生日！你连这都忘了，你连这都不知道，看来你一点也不爱我不了解我，其实你心里根本都没有我吧，真的是太让我失望了。礼物？不用特意去准备，当然如果你真心想送的话我也会满心欢喜的接受，有了礼物我会开心的像得领到工资的光头强抓到羊吃的灰太狼。

送你幸福编号，嘴角偷偷笑一笑，幸运马上就报到；心情悄悄美一美，编号定能往前飞；祝福话语收一收，编号排名你为首。幸福哟！

为什么撤回？撤回了什么？有什么是我不能知道的？还是你觉得我不能知道？我们俩的关系在你眼里就这么不值一提吗？那你觉得我们是什么关系？不会连这个你都不愿意跟我说吧？我真的破防了！得不到让我满意的答案我真的会发疯！

不要做无畏的挣扎📢你已经被我看中📢马上放下羞涩与我结婚📢！！不要做无畏的挣扎📢你已经被我看中📢马上放下羞涩与我结婚📢！！不要做无畏的挣扎📢接触网络前，我是个自卑腼腆的人，连和人说句话都不敢，感谢网络，让我变得开朗自信，我现在已经狂的不是人了，嗨，我的男人！

我的精神挺好的呀，我的好神‬挺的精呀，挺呀精‬我的好的，精挺好我的神的呀，我好的神精‬的呀，的的好‬呀精我妈神‬的！彻疯底‬狂！妈的！彻底疯狂！妈的！彻疯底‬狂！妈的！彻底疯狂！妈的批！彻疯底‬狂！妈的！彻疯底‬狂！妈的！彻底疯狂！妈的！彻疯底‬狂！妈的！彻底疯狂！妈的！彻底疯狂！妈的！彻疯底‬狂！妈的！彻疯底‬狂！妈的！彻底疯狂！妈的！彻疯底‬狂！妈的！彻疯底‬狂！妈的！彻疯底‬狂！妈的！彻底疯狂！发疯么怎‬了大家会都‬死的装正给常‬谁看发怎疯‬么了大家都会死的装正给常‬谁看发疯了怎‬了大家会都‬死的装正常谁给‬看

今天是这个月的第一天，谢谢大家长久以来对我的无视，我很喜欢这里，大家都各聊各的，没人鸟我，我也不想鸟你们，很温馨的地方，希望大家继续加油，我会一直和你们耗下去，你们这群吊毛

怎么是演的，人家如果演技好为什么不去拍戏？你们心里太阴暗了，为什么要揣测这么优秀的人，平时里你们开开我的玩笑，怼怼我就算了，没想到你们现在还学会恶意揣测别人了，我真的很失望，但是更多的是难过，我想退网一段时间安静一下，希望你们支持我

我真的很少和别人说我身高185 很少人知道我185 我也就去年体检知道自己是185 其实也还好 185也不算高社会上比185高的人多很多我觉得185就不算高啦我完全没有在意自己是185

我本是上市公司的老总，却被诡计多端的奸人所害！下属弃我！股东逐我！甚至清空我的股份！重来一生，我只想夺回我的公司！今天肯德基疯狂星期四，谁请我吃？

(怒吼）（变成猴子）（飞进原始森林）（荡树藤）（创飞路过吃香蕉的猴子）（荡树藤）（摘一个榴莲）（砸死猴王）（称霸猴群）（掌握热武器技术）（入侵人类）（称霸天下）（掌握空间折跃技术）（离开太阳系）（激动的晕倒）（全宇宙都炸了)

（开跑车出现）晚上好我的漂亮姐姐，不知你有没有时间……（停错位置）（被交警拖走）（发送消息）头像是我……（消息发送失败）（遗憾离场）（压低了性感的嗓音）晚上好我的宝贝，你有没有……（被口水呛到）（咳得撕心裂肺）（摇晃红酒杯）晚上好我的宝贝不知道你愿不愿意（酒洒了一裤子）（匆匆离场）（手撑墙靠近）早上好我的漂亮姐姐，不知道你有没有兴趣…（油漆未干）（匆匆离场）（腿交叠，背靠墙，手持玫瑰）女人，晚上好，不知道有没有时间…（脚滑摔地上）（一身泥，狼狈逃离）（叼玫瑰花出现）早上好我的朋友，不知道你是否愿意……（被刺到嘴）（匆匆离场）

聊啊，怎么不聊了？从早上聊到晚上分分钟999+，怎么我一出来就不聊了？搞针对是吧？合着就是几个熟悉的人建个群在这钓鱼？我就不退，我就在这看你们几个聊天，看着你们能玩出什么幺蛾子。我不在时你们从盘古开天聊到三皇五帝，从柏拉图聊到达芬奇，从王者聊到吃鸡，我一出来你们就不聊了，有这么巧吗？

你说得没错。在这世上，总会有人让你悲伤、嫉妒、咬牙切齿。并不是他们有多坏，而是因为你很在乎。所以想心安，首先就要不在乎。你对事不在乎，它就伤害不到你；你对人不在乎，他就不会令你生气。学会随缘接受一切，包容一切，心不随境转，才是自在人生。

为什么？！为什么是你？为什么你要做这样错到极致的事情？为什么你不把痛苦予你最应该亲近的人分担？为什么你要对我隐瞒这么久？为什么你选择用如此愚蠢的方式逃避现实？为什么？为什么？！

求求你了哥哥，真的别骂了，不要在互联网上和我拼现实了，我现实生活一事无成，姥姥不亲舅舅不爱，不像你家财万贯，白天在看北海道看樱花赏雪，下午在LA和各界大咖打高尔夫球，谈上百亿的合同，你大人有大量，放了我这只卑微的蚂蚁吧！求求你

哥姐文学

为你弹奏肖邦的夜曲祭奠姐死去的爱情

Play Chopin's Nocturne for you, mourning the love that died

心中常念姐的好姐的精神永不倒

I always think of my sister's goodness in my heart, and her spirit will never fail.

这世上有五种场，沙场，磁场，矿场，操场，还有姐的闪亮登场

There are five types of fields in this world: sand field, magnetic field, mine field, playground, and sister's shining debut

你说姐有点难追，那么OK，姐直接上DJ，震动你的DNA

You said sister is a bit difficult to pursue, so OK, sister can directly DJ and shake your DNA.

不要琢磨姐，因为答案，无解。

Don't ponder over sister, because the answer is unsolvable.

我可以为你付出一切骗你的姐可不蠢

I would do anything for you. I lied to you. I'm not stupid

无所谓，姐是说再见也要双手插兜的人。

It doesn't matter. I'm the kind of person who says goodbye with both hands in my pockets.

姐再让你一只手你也不是姐的对手

Even if I give you one more hand, you are no match for me

困境罢了拉紧姐的手姐带你突出重围

It's just a predicament, hold onto sister's hand tightly, sister will lead you out of the encirclement

姐爱你你是姐的唯一

Sister loves you, you are sister's only one

什么潮流八流，姐当年是非主流，提笔在画西游

What a trendy eight-stream, my sister was non-mainstream back then, drawing Journey to the West with a pen

戒过毒吗？怎么忍住不找姐说话的

Have you quit drugs? How did you resist talking to me?

姐每天只允许自己五点二十分睡觉，姐可以猝死，但浪漫不死

Sister only allows herself to sleep at 5:20 every day. Sister can die suddenly, but romance never dies

你值得更好的，而不是姐这种最好的

You deserve better, not the best like me

姐把你揣兜里你把姐踹沟里

Sister put you in her pocket, you kicked sister into the ditch

天黑黑会不会让姐忘了你是谁

It's getting dark, will it make me forget who you are?

这世上有三种命，生命，要命，还有姐迷死人不偿命

There are three kinds of life in this world: life, death, and sister who is obsessed with death and does not pay for it

你说姐有一点狂姐的外号摇人王

You said I'm a bit crazy, my nickname is the king of calling people.

看不见你笑姐怎么睡的着

I can't see you smile, how can I sleep?

不知细叶谁裁出，爱上姐你不会输

I don't know who cut the thin leaves, but if you fall in love with me, you won't lose

没有水的地方叫沙漠没有姐的地方叫寂寞

A place without water is called a desert, and a place without sisters is called loneliness

别狡辩了，姐活着你也活着，世界上哪有那么赶巧的事，你就是暗恋姐。

Stop making excuses. If my sister is alive, you are alive too. There is no such coincidence in the world. You just have a crush on my sister.

不装高冷姐的冷酷零下8度

Don't pretend to be cold, sister's coldness is minus 8 degrees

姐跟你掏心窝子，你跟姐玩心眼子

I'll open up to you, you play mind games with me

别问姐几岁姐的情绪零碎

Don't ask how old I am, my emotions are fragmented

这个世界上有五种年，新年，今年，去年，明年，还有姐爱你一万年

There are five types of years in this world: New Year, this year, last year, next year, and Sister loves you for ten thousand years

姐们跟你心连心你跟姐们动脑筋

Sisters are heart-to-heart with you, you use your brain with sisters

姐身边不缺人，姐只想要你

I don't lack people around me, I just want you

看不见罪的国度请原谅姐的自负

A country where sin cannot be seen, please forgive my arrogance

给姐早睡姐心疼不起

Go to bed early for my sister, I can't afford to feel sorry for her.

从没为男人心烦过下次就这么描述姐

I have never been upset about a man before. Next time, I will describe myself like this

花会谢人会呆姐的爱never say goodbye

Flowers will wither, people will stay, sister's love never says goodbye

别听反方向的钟，让姐来温暖你的冬

Don't listen to the clock in the opposite direction, let me warm your winter

爱你，是姐来到这个世界唯一的目标。想你，是姐来到这个世界唯一的任务。

Loving you is my only goal in this world. Missing you is my only mission in this world.

动物油，植物油，花生油，今天姐love you。

Animal oil, vegetable oil, peanut oil, I love you today.

别来找姐了姐已经和寂寞在一起了

Don't come looking for me, I'm already with loneliness

世界上有4种k，红桃k、梅花k、方片k，还有你不喜欢姐的话姐会伤心的ok?

There are four types of K in the world: Heart K, Plum Blossom K, and Square K. If you don't like me, I will be sad, okay?

扣1，姐再哄哄你。

Click 1, sister will coax you again.

别问哥几岁哥的情绪零碎

Don't ask how old I am, my emotions are fragmented

戒过毒吗？怎么忍住不找哥说话的

Have you quit drugs? How did you resist talking to me?

无所谓，哥是说再见也要双手插兜的人。

It doesn't matter. I'm the kind of person who says goodbye with both hands in my pockets.

哥帅气的五官，你心动的开端

Handsome facial features, the beginning of your heart

你说哥有一点狂哥的外号摇人王

You said I'm a bit crazy, my nickname is the king of calling people.

看不见你的笑哥怎么睡的着

I can't see your smile, how can I sleep?

三年风雨三年情在哥身边行不行

Three years of wind and rain, three years of love, can I be by my side?

哥很忙，忙着爱你，忙着想你

Brother is busy, busy loving you, busy missing you

别问哥从哪里来，哥的爱无处不在

Don't ask where I come from, my love is everywhere

月亮不睡哥不睡，哥是爱你的小宝贝

The moon doesn't sleep, brother doesn't sleep, brother is your little baby who loves you

哥的帅气不是吹，迷倒万千少女心不亏

The handsome guy is not bragging, it's worth captivating the hearts of thousands of girls

你说你要走，哥的泪在流，别让哥的心儿空守

You said you want to leave, my tears are flowing, don't let my heart be empty

哥的生活很简单，除了爱你就是吃饭

My life is very simple, besides loving you, I just eat

星星会亮，哥也会发光，照亮你的世界不迷茫。

The stars will shine, and I will also shine, illuminating your world without confusion.

没有哥的日子，就像炒菜没有放盐，平淡又寡淡。

Days without me are like cooking without salt, plain and bland.

哥的爱像潮水，一波一波将你包围。

Brother's love is like the tide, surround you wave by wave.

你笑起来真好看，就像春天的花一样，哥的眼光不会差，认定你就是我的她。

You look so beautiful when you smile, just like the flowers in spring. My taste is not bad, I believe you are my her.

哥的浪漫，像诗篇，一字一句都是对你的想念。

Brother's romance is like a poem, every word and sentence is about missing you.

别对哥放电，哥的电量已为你充满。

Don't discharge electricity at me, my battery has been fully charged for you.

哥的故事很长，长到可以装下你的一生。

My story is very long, long enough to hold your whole life.

这世界上有五种粉，面粉、米粉、花粉、胡椒粉，还有哥对你的情比海深。

There are five types of flour in this world: flour, rice flour, pollen, pepper, and my love for you is deeper than the sea.

哥的帅气是天生，迷倒众生不是梦。

Brother's handsomeness is innate, captivating all beings is not a dream.

跟着哥，有糖吃，幸福生活甜如蜜

Follow me, have candy to eat, happy life is as sweet as honey

你是哥的优乐美，捧在手心怕掉了，含在嘴里怕化了。

You are my brother's Youlemei, holding it in my hand for fear of falling, holding it in my mouth for fear of melting.

哥的温柔，只给你，别人想抢都没门儿。

Brother's tenderness is only for you, no one else can steal it.

爱情的路很漫长，哥愿陪你走到地老天荒。

The road of love is long, and I am willing to accompany you until the end of time.

哥的肩膀很宽，是你永远的港湾。

Brother has broad shoulders, he is your eternal harbor.

不管世界怎么变，哥爱你的心永不变。

No matter how the world changes, my love for you will never change.

哥的眼中只有你，其他人都是空气。

In my brother's eyes, there is only you, everyone else is just air.

怎么没人找哥聊天，搞集体暗恋是吧？

Why isn't anyone chatting with me? Are we having a collective crush?

色色文学

猫是怎么叫的：喵喵羊是怎么叫的：咩咩牛是怎么叫的：哞哞狗是怎么叫的：老婆大人你又忘记给我拴狗绳了，下次别忘了啊

How cats meow: meow meow, how sheep meow: bleat, how cows meow: moo moo, how dogs meow: wife, you forgot to leash my dog again, don't forget next time

爱上了管你是什么星座插座我也认了😭

Fell in love, no matter what zodiac sign you are, I also recognize the socket 😭

我的心❤️澎湃💓💓 飙快的心脏跳💗怦💗怦💗 🥵我神魂颠倒🥵 躁动的心❤️在放鞭炮🎉 🥵神魂颠倒🥵 🥵迷恋着你😍神魂颠倒🥵 是你踩碎💘我的解药💊 😭全都没关系😭 别管我了😭别管我了

My heart ❤️ 💓💓 pounding 💗 pounding 💗 pounding 💗 🥵 I 🥵 restless heart ❤️ setting off firecrackers 🎉 🥵 🥵 🥵 in love with you 😍 in love 🥵 you crush 💘 my antidote 💊 😭 all right 😭 leave me alone 😭 leave me alone

看到你的那一天，周围的人都在议论。电视上报道着最新的新闻：据观察，有人发现空中有不明生物飞过。虽是转瞬即逝，却还是引起了大部分人的关注。有科学家观测到，此生物有着两条巨型腿部，且移动速度极快，疑似外星人。我默默地躺在床上，听着对异象的疑问和讨论，心想我的裤子什么时候才能飞回来？

On the day I saw you, everyone around me was discussing. The latest news was reported on TV: according to observations, an unknown creature was found flying in the sky. Although it was fleeting, it still attracted the attention of most people. Scientists observed that this creature had two giant legs and moved extremely fast, suspected to be an alien. I lay silently in bed, listening to the questions and discussions about the phenomenon, wondering when my pants could fly back.

XXX 以后别去狗市找我了我已经不做舔狗了如果你想我了就去海鲜市场找我我在那边当鱼如果海鲜市场也没找到去汽修厂看看有时候我在那里当备胎如果汽修厂也没有那就去草原看看我在那边当牛马

XXX, don't go to the dog market to find me in the future. I don't do simp anymore. If you miss me, go to the seafood market to find me. I'll be a fish there. If you can't find the seafood market, go to the auto repair shop. Sometimes I'll be a spare tire there. If the auto repair shop doesn't have it, go to the grassland and I'll be a cow or horse there

每次网购我都不填本名我都填xx 快递员送来就问:“请问xx在吗？” 我都说:“不在，我是他的狗”😭

Every time I shop online, I don't fill in my real name. I always fill in xx. When the courier arrives, he asks, "Is xx there?" I always say, "No, I am his dog." 😭

有一天xxx在跑步，我冲上去就把他绊倒了。他站起来继续跑，于是我又把他绊倒了。他问我想干嘛，我对他大喊：“我碍你！我碍你啊！”

One day, xxx was running and I tripped him when I rushed up. He stood up and continued running, so I tripped him again. He asked me what I wanted to do and I shouted at him, "I'm bothering you! I'm bothering you!"

长成这样也敢发出来就不怕我原地52800度大旋转单膝跪地手捧鲜花嘴叼玫瑰直接嫁给你吗帅哥

You dare to post it like this, aren't you afraid that I will kneel down on one knee with a flower in my hand and a rose in my mouth, and marry you directly? Handsome

xx 你不知道，我有三万种的情书可以写给你，可我不喜欢谈论情爱，我更喜欢你能按着我狂亲，否则我就要发疯一直疯到个明年了，可怜可怜我吧😭😭😭

XX you don't know, I have 30,000 kinds of love letters can be written to you, but I don't like to talk about love, I prefer you can press my crazy kiss, otherwise I will go crazy until next year, pity me 😭😭😭

老公，今天物理光学开始讲光的特性了，物理老师说光是频率极高的电磁波；又说光是粒子，因为有粒子特性，光到底是什么？原来，光是想你就用尽了全力🥺

Husband, today physics optics began to talk about the characteristics of light, the physics teacher said that light is an electromagnetic wave with extremely high frequency; and said that light is a particle, because there are particle characteristics, what is light? It turns out that just thinking about you has exhausted all its strength 🥺

宝宝你就是世界🏙🏙🏙 你就是宇宙🌠🌠🌠 你就是大陆⛰️⛰️⛰️ 你就是国家🗻🗻🗻 你就是扰乱我之后又来拯救我的人，你就是神🕍🕍🕍 你就是上帝🕋🕋🕋 你就是love🏩🏩🏩 你就是天使😇😇😇 你就是上天派来拯救我的精灵🤤🤤🤤

Baby, you are the world 🏙🏙🏙 you are the universe 🌠🌠🌠 you are the continent ⛰️⛰️⛰️ you are the country 🗻🗻🗻 you are the one who disturbs me and comes to save me, you are God 🕍🕍🕍 you are God 🕋🕋🕋 you are love 🏩🏩🏩 you are an angel 😇😇😇 you are the elf sent by heaven to save me 🤤🤤🤤

我真服了，坐出租车呢，裤子突然就爆了，给司机吓一激灵🥵

I really give up, take a taxi, pants suddenly burst, give the driver a shock 🥵

我幻想过自己是发明家，是哲学家，是艺术家，但最后发现还是想住你家🥺

I have fantasized about being an inventor, a philosopher, an artist, but in the end I found that I still want to live in your house 🥺

我120岁时记者采访我：“奶奶您长寿的秘诀是什么？”我颤颤巍巍地从口袋里拿出姐姐的照片说：“这辈子没和姐姐结婚我是不会闭眼的”

When I was 120 years old, a reporter interviewed me and asked, 'Grandma, what is the secret to your longevity?' I tremblingly took out my sister's photo from my pocket and said, 'I won't close my eyes until I marry my sister in this lifetime.'

没有你的世界是那么灰暗生命没有任何意义看见你的瞬间我警铃大响我想逃离但你的眼神你的声音你的面容时时刻刻在我脑海里浮现我知道我们不是一个世界的人我甚至不能见到你但我对你的心意天地可鉴

The world is so dark without you, life has no meaning. The moment I see you, my alarm goes off. I want to escape, but your eyes, your voice, and your face are always in my mind. I know we are not from the same world. I can't even see you, but my feelings for you can be seen from heaven and earth

我：谁会当狗啊，有什么毛病吗，我已经看透红尘我必定出家 xx：谁是我的乖狗狗呀我：汪汪汪汪汪汪汪汪汪汪汪（冲刺）（飞奔）（原地劈叉以表决心）（摇尾巴）（摇尾巴）（暴打其他小狗）（鼻青脸肿摇尾巴）

Me: Who can be a dog? What's wrong with that? I've seen through the world. I will definitely become a monk. XX: Who is my good dog? Me: Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof (sprint) (run) (split in place to show determination) (wag tail) (wag tail) (beat other puppies) (bruises and swollen face, wag tail)

xx🥰🥰我神魂颠倒🥵🥵躁动的心在放鞭炮🤩🤩我的丘比特在尖叫😇😇荷尔蒙的爆发因为你的到来😍😍神魂颠倒🥵🥵迷恋着你神魂颠倒🤤🤤是你踩碎我的解药🤕🤕全都没关系🥰🥰please just give me kiss😘😘

XX 🥰🥰 I'm swoon 🥵🥵 restless heart is setting off firecrackers 🤩🤩 my Cupid is screaming 😇😇 hormonal outbursts because of your arrival 😍😍 swoon 🥵🥵 obsessed with you swoon 🤤🤤 you crush my antidote 🤕🤕 It doesn't matter 🥰🥰 please just give me kiss 😘😘

我现在在医院的重症室里，戴着呼吸机，花了的眼不离屏幕半分，那清脆的消息回复的声音再没有响起。我哭不出来。我知道我没有多少时间了，生命在煎熬中流逝。终于，倦意袭来，我用尽了最后的力气打出了一行字：你好美

I am now in the intensive care unit of the hospital, wearing a Respirator. My eyes have been staring at the screen for half a minute, and the clear voice of the message reply has not sounded again. I can't cry. I know I don't have much time left, and life is passing by in agony. Finally, fatigue strikes, and I use my last strength to type out a line of words: You are so beautiful

啊啊啊啊姐姐加油姐姐好棒我这辈子为姐姐痴为姐姐狂为姐姐哐哐撞大墙

Ah ah ah sister, come on sister, sister is great. I have been crazy about sister for my whole life, banging on the wall for sister

我好累，这繁重的生活压得我喘不过气来，我根本就不快乐，有什么事情都是自己一个人抗，这几个夜晚我是哭累了才睡着的，好多话只能给自己说，眼泪掉了是自己擦，我不想轻易留眼泪，可是眼泪它不听话，偏偏自己就会掉下来，你说我怎么就一点都不坚强呢，其实我只想说，我为什么不能和xx在一起呢

I'm so tired. This heavy life is suffocating me. I'm not happy at all. I have to bear everything alone. These past few nights, I cried myself to sleep. There are many things I can only say to myself. When tears fall, I wipe them myself. I don't want to shed tears easily, but tears don't listen and just fall by themselves. Why am I not strong at all? Actually, I just want to say, why can't I be with xx?

xx😍😍😍😍😍那夜的雨也没能留住你😪😪山谷的风它陪着我哭泣😭😭你的驼铃声仿佛还在我耳边响起👂🏻👂🏻告诉我你曾来过这里😨😨我酿的酒喝不醉我自己😰😰你唱的歌却让我一醉不醒

XX 😍😍😍😍😍 the rain that night could not keep you 😪😪 the wind in the valley it accompanied me to cry 😭😭 your camel bell sound seems to still ring in my ear 👂🏻👂🏻 tell me you have been here 😨😨 the wine I brewed can't get drunk myself 😰😰 the song you sing makes me drunk

我在床上哭了四个小时崩溃了16次扇了自己79个巴掌刚才昏过去现在才醒来看到外面天黑了我顿时又崩溃了因为我怎么想都想不明白为什么你这么美

I cried in bed for four hours, broke down 16 times, slapped myself 79 times, just passed out and woke up now. When I saw it was dark outside, I suddenly broke down again because I couldn't figure out why you were so beautiful

xx我想你想的要发疯了看不到你我辗转反侧夜不能寐得不到你我朝思暮想寝食难安我想要时时刻刻注视着你，靠近你、拥抱你，想要周围都萦绕着你的气息目光所及都有你留下的痕迹请你放下矜持速速来和我结婚😭

XX I miss you so much that I can't see you. I toss and turn at night and can't sleep without you. I miss you day and night and can't sleep well. I want to watch you all the time, get close to you, hug you, and be surrounded by your breath. There are traces left by you in my eyes. Please put down your reserve and come to marry me as soon as possible 😭

今天跟朋友去吃饭点了一条鱼朋友问我为啥只吃鱼头我说因为鱼身要留着和xx一起过

Today I went out to eat with friends and ordered a fish. My friend asked me why I only ate the fish head. I said it was because I wanted to keep the fish body to spend with xx

今天凝光教我写生物题，我们写到兴奋在神经纤维上传递，她问我，在外是正是负，我不禁大喊：“外负！外负！”

Today Ningguang taught me how to write biology problems. We wrote that excitement is transmitted through nerve fibers. She asked me if it was positive or negative outside. I couldn't help but shout, "Negative outside! Negative outside!"

xx是我的，你不许看👊😭你不许看👊😭你不许看👊😭你不许看👊😭你不许看👊😭你不许看👊😭你不许看👊😭我🦈了你，我🦈了你，我🦈了你，我🦈了你，我🦈了你

XX is mine, you can't look 👊😭 you can't look 👊😭 you can't look 👊😭 you can't look 👊😭 you can't look 👊😭 you can't look 👊😭 you can't look 👊😭 I 🦈 you, I 🦈 you, I 🦈 you, I 🦈 you, I 🦈 you

xx太美了！！我心跳加速，呼吸加快！！我净化雾霾的能力赶超热带雨林！！我将成为新的地球之肺！！我扑通一声把青藏高原跪成盆地！！哭到不再需要南水北调工程！！嚎到产生的风力发电供应全球人民使用！！

Xx is so beautiful!! My heart beats faster and my breathing quickens!! My ability to purify haze surpasses that of tropical rainforests!! I will become the new lungs of the earth!! I will kneel down the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau into a basin with a plop!! I will cry until I no longer need the South-to-North Water Diversion Project!! I will howl until the wind power generated is used by people all over the world!!

为什么会这么好看，我想不明白，我的所有脑细胞加在一起冥想一万亿年也无法参透为什么你这么好看的道理，你是造物主创造的皮格马利翁，就连神明也会为你们倾倒，你是黑夜也是黑夜里唯一一丝曙光，指引了我前进的方向，你是我活下去的动力，谢谢你，我命中注定的老婆

Why is it so beautiful? I can't understand. Even if all my brain cells meditate for a trillion years, I can't understand why you are so beautiful. You are Pygmalion created by the Creator. Even the gods will fall for you. You are the only ray of dawn in the night, guiding me forward. You are the driving force for me to live. Thank you, my destined wife

老婆瘾犯了我好想老婆，好想老婆，无时无刻的想老婆无止无尽的想你老婆想完美的老婆想崇高的老婆想神圣的老婆不想克制自己，上厕所的时候不敢想老婆，怕臭臭的空气亵渎了老婆🥵

My wife is addicted, I miss my wife, I miss my wife, I miss my wife all the time, I miss your wife endlessly, I want a perfect wife, I want a noble wife, I want a sacred wife, I don't want to restrain myself, I dare not think of my wife when I go to the toilet, I am afraid that the stinky air will desecrate my wife 🥵

我要把裤子放冰箱，从此变成冷裤的人。我要把裤子剪碎，从此变成残裤的人。我要把裤子炫了，从此变成炫裤的人。我要把裤子扔了，从此变成xxx的人。

I want to put my pants in the fridge and become someone who wears cold pants from now on. I want to cut my pants into pieces and become a person with broken pants from now on. I want to show off my pants and become the person who shows off my pants from now on. I want to throw away my pants and become a xxx person from now on.

我哭了，我连夜跑到卢浮宫外痛哭，保安问我为什么在这里哭，我哭着把你的照片给保安看，保安看了也痛哭，哭着说找到了卢浮宫丢失多年的艺术品

I cried. I ran outside the Louvre all night and cried bitterly. The security guard asked me why I was crying here. I cried and showed your photo to the security guard. The security guard also cried and said he found the lost artwork in the Louvre for many years

姐姐我的心不见了，哦原来在你那里😜

Sister, my heart is gone, oh, it's with you 😜

切这我的你们别抢好不好😡🥵每天早上起来他都要抱抱🥺烦死了🥺头发都是我梳🥺衣服也是我给他穿🥺帅死了简直🥺每天眼泪都要从嘴角掉下来🥺🥺🥺

Cut, this is mine, you don't grab it, okay 😡🥵 every morning he has to hug 🥺 annoying 🥺 hair is my comb 🥺 clothes are also my clothes for him to wear 🥺 handsome is 🥺 every day tears fall from the corner of the mouth 🥺🥺🥺

我刚刚在寝室喝水，闻到一股焦味，但是效果和热水壶都没开，奇怪，会不会是电路烧了，我把电线全都拿掉了，我以为是线的问题，我还在想要不要叫宿管，然后，我突然发现了，你猜怎么着，原来是我的心在为你燃烧

I just drank water in the dormitory and smelled a burnt smell, but neither the effect nor the kettle was turned on. Strange, could it be that the circuit burned out? I removed all the wires and thought it was a problem with the wires. I was still thinking about whether to call the dormitory manager. Then, I suddenly realized that my heart was burning for you

我真的是无语了，下楼和他一起拿个快递，回到小区一群保安围着我不让我进，说我太危险了。我说我很健康，没咳嗽没发烧怎么就危险了？他们说：你老公帅气的外表，就是一把尖利的刀

I'm really speechless. I went downstairs to pick up a package with him, but when I got back to the community, a group of security guards surrounded me and wouldn't let me in, saying I was too dangerous. I said I was very healthy, without a cough or fever, how could it be dangerous? They said: Your husband's handsome appearance is like a sharp knife

为什么会这么好看，我想不明白，我的所有脑细胞加在一起冥想一万亿年也无法参透为什么你这么好看的道理，你是造物主创造的皮格马利翁，就连神明也会为你们倾倒，你是黑夜也是黑夜里唯一一丝曙光，指引了我前进的方向，你是我活下去的动力，谢谢你，我命中注定的老婆

Why is it so beautiful? I can't understand. Even if all my brain cells meditate for a trillion years, I can't understand why you are so beautiful. You are Pygmalion created by the Creator. Even the gods will fall for you. You are the only ray of dawn in the night, guiding me forward. You are the driving force for me to live. Thank you, my destined wife

姐姐问一下你接那种小型演出吗？很简单的就穿个礼服在台上走一下然后和我交换一下戒指什么的

Sister, do you accept small performances? It's simple, just wear a formal dress, walk on stage, and exchange rings with me

姐姐抓娃娃是不是很厉害，一次就抓住了我的心🥺

Sister catch doll is not very powerful, once caught my heart 🥺

非主流文学

ぺ畱ぅ很 9 的頭發能ゐ尒説剪就剪，愛ぅ很 9 的尒也能説忘就忘。◇

The hair I've kept for a long time can be cut off for you just like that, and I can forget about you, whom I've loved for so long, just as easily.

耳朵饿了想听情话

My ears are starving and eager to hear sweet nothings.

〆丗事本就惡俗ъú 堪，能忼嘅凢 fеи，能 γца諒幾亼。

The world is inherently vulgar and unbearable. How many people can resist it, and how many can be forgiven?

﹎. 那些讓妳傷 χιń的ヌ隹聽的話，全 dδц是我撒的謊。

All those nice words that hurt your heart were all lies I told.

℡﹏濧の亼遈Ьú 鼡跑著詓靠近の。

The right person doesn't need to be approached by running.

记住，这个世界没有童话

Remember, there are no fairy tales in this world.

︶肚 zi 眞幸諨，多仯亽溈牠莘кǔ溈牠忙，可牠苁唻橷伓 z んī足。

The stomach is really lucky. So many people work hard and stay busy for it, yet it's never satisfied.

╰+ 當亱募降臨 dеㄖ寸鯸，孤韣禾 ó 寂寞湧仩訫頭。メ o

When night falls, loneliness and solitude well up in my heart.

╱ ★゜尒詠逺 S んī 硪德蕞嗳，⑧ 菅 āì 妳侑哆難，莪啲惢芷想屬於伱。︶ㄣ

You are always my dearest love. No matter how hard it is to love you, my heart only wants to belong to you.

灬你是隻想要飛往南方 de 候鳥，ㄡ怎幺會再留 ιīàη 北方的懷抱。↘

You are a migratory bird that only wants to fly south. How could you stay in the embrace of the north again?

现在的你，在哪个街角。在听哪段音乐，拥着谁的肩膀，对谁说着那三个字。

Where are you now, on which street corner? What music are you listening to? Whose shoulder are you leaning on? And to whom are you saying those three words?

ぃ堅強⒐活該被 ηα 些細ノ亅丶的環節明明刺痛了還不屑嗎？ヤ

Is being strong just about being stabbed by those tiny details and still acting disdainful?

俄的骄傲，不允许俄就此战败流泪

My pride won't allow me to be defeated and shed tears like this.

我和你，一秒就落空，就不复存在了。

You and I, in just one second, are gone and cease to exist.

“自尊、? 自爱、? 我把一切

Self-esteem? Self-love? I... （原句不完整，只能翻译到此处）

我从不奢望，有人能读出老子的忧伤。

I never expect that someone can understand my sorrow.

你若折我姐妹翅膀，我定毁你整个天堂。

If you break my sister's wings, I will surely destroy your entire paradise.

如果爱，请深爱，若不爱，请离开。

If you love, love deeply. If not, leave.

爱我你怕了吗，眼泪你忘了吗？

Are you afraid of loving me? Have you forgotten your tears?

别低头，王冠会掉。别流泪，贱人会笑。

Don't bow your head, or the crown will fall. Don't shed tears, or the mean people will laugh.

别在我的坟前哭，脏了我的轮回路。

Don't cry in front of my grave, for it will dirty the path of my reincarnation.

你若安好，便是晴天。你若哭泣，我便心碎。

If you are well, it will be sunny. If you cry, my heart will break.

你若不离不弃，我定生死相依。

If you never abandon me, I will stay with you through thick and thin.

嗳涐伱怕ㄋ吗眼涙伱莣ㄋ吗卟媞说ぬ做彼茈の迗使吗

Are you afraid of loving me? Have you forgotten your tears? Didn't we say we'd be each other's angels?

づ尒栐逺看ьǔ見我樶漃寞魡

You will never see my deepest loneliness.

抽象文学

亲爱的网友您好，由于您的语言不符国家安全网站言语规定，将对您实行一次警告，请您注意发言。于202x年x月x日

Dear netizen, due to your language not conforming to the national security website language regulations, you will be given a warning. Please pay attention to your speech. On x month x day, 202x

不私聊哈小帅哥，不好意思，我是一个有家庭有老公孩子的女人，我平时在群里说说话已经是最大的尺度了，希望你理解，但转账我能接受，多大都能，发红包我也能接受

Sorry, I am a woman with a family, husband, and children. Talking in the group is already the biggest standard for me. I hope you understand, but I can accept transfers, any size, and sending red envelopes

约我出去玩注意事项：1.全身上下穿搭只能pdd买且不能超过50大洋2.只可以用iPhone14pro 以下的机型不能比我机子高贵，emmm用华为机子的也行，毕竟很大气符合跟我做朋友的标配，用小米的人比较真诚！OPPO，vivo的特别可爱，用三星机子的都是阳光的宝儿～我都可以接受，只需一点！不能比我高贵就行！3.出去只能喝蜜雪冰城里面的柠檬水4.不许说要不我们去吃日料韩料这种话我们只追求中国美食！5.A钱要A到小数点后五位，玩不起的别来

Notes on inviting me out to play: 1. The whole outfit can only be bought on PDD and cannot exceed 50 yuan. 2. Only models below iPhone14 Pro can be used. They cannot be more expensive than my phone, emmm, Huawei phones are also fine, after all, they are very stylish and meet the standard configuration of being friends with me. People who use Xiaomi are more sincere! OPPO and vivo are particularly cute, and those who use Samsung phones are all sunshine babies~ I can accept them all, just a little bit! As long as they are not more expensive than me! 3. Only drink lemonade from MIXUE when going out. 4. Don't say anything, or we will eat Japanese and Korean food. We only pursue Chinese food! 5. The money should be A to five decimal places. If you can't afford it, don't come

不想看可以硬看，没必要划走

You can watch it if you don't want to, there's no need to swipe away

不私聊哈小美女，不好意思，我是一个有家庭有老婆孩子的男人，我平时在群里说说话已经是最大的尺度了，希望你理解，但转账我能接受，多大都能，发红包我也能接受

I'm sorry, I'm a man with a family, a wife, and children. Talking in the group is already the biggest standard for me. I hope you understand, but I can accept transfers, any size, and sending red envelopes

大家有对我不满的地方都可以提出来，尽情发言，一会就给你们全删了。竟敢对皇帝不满，我来上网就是来当皇帝的，顺我者昌逆我者亡。诛九族，处极刑，赐自尽。

Everyone can raise any dissatisfaction with me, feel free to speak up, and I will delete everything for you in a moment. How dare you be dissatisfied with the emperor? I came online to be the emperor. Those who follow me will prosper and those who oppose me will perish. Execute the nine clans, impose the death penalty, and allow suicide.

朋友圈里抽一个人不送东西纯抽

Draw a person in the circle of friends, don't give anything, purely draw

宝宝，生活费够吗，够的话转我点，不要说我不要脸，将心比心，你穿的鞋都是谁买的？是，都是你自己买的，到你平时吃的喝的都是谁买的？我承认也是你自己买的，但是你有没有考虑过你给自己买这么多东西是不是太自私了？为什么不给我买？

Baby, do you have enough living expenses? If you do, transfer some to me. Don't say I'm shameless. Put yourself in my shoes. Who bought them? Yes, you bought them yourself. Who buys your food and drinks? I admit that you bought them yourself, but have you ever considered whether you are too selfish to buy so many things for yourself? Why don't you buy them for me?

谢谢姐妹们关心，昨晚已经问了他了，的确是一场误会，他平时对我很好，我这次也是气急了才发出来问问，人无完人，我自己也有缺点，希望大家都能找到自己的另一半，一起幸福呀。

Thank you sisters for your concern. I already asked him last night. It was indeed a misunderstanding. He is usually very good to me. This time, I was angry and asked. No one is perfect, and I also have my own shortcomings. I hope everyone can find their other half and be happy together.

教室呢其实是一种木质香调，具体形容起来就是棺材木

The classroom is actually a woody scent, specifically described as coffin wood

撤回了？又和我表白呢吧？每个人都有追求幸福的权利，也许有人会笑你不知道自己几斤几两，不懂得天高地厚，癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉，会问你飞蛾扑火值不值得。但，那又怎么样呢？感情，爱上就是爱上了，得不到也算是努力过，重发吧，我会假装没看见，不给你压力

Withdrawn? Did you confess to me again? Everyone has the right to pursue happiness. Maybe someone will laugh at you for not knowing your own weight and not understanding the importance of heaven and earth. A toad wants to eat swan meat and will ask you if it's worth it. But so what? Love, falling in love is falling in love. If you can't get it, you have tried your best. Let's resend it. I will pretend not to see it and not give you pressure

我视奸你很累，所以亲爱的你能自觉告诉我今天和谁聊天了吗？说了些什么，有没有提到我？有没有想我，想了多少次？这些我全部要知道，在认识我之前你还和谁有交集？他们是男是女，你和他们怎么认识的？你和他们什么关系，有没有刻意隐瞒我？你们联系的很频繁吗？那为什么不来找我聊天，我很无趣吗，明明有我一个就够了，你和任何人都应该保持距离，一切的一切最好都以我为中心，除了我你不能有更上心的人，拜托了亲爱的没有你的一切我会疯的，我求求你不要做出让我厌恶的行为，你也不想让事情变得糟糕吧？

I'm tired of spying on you, so dear, can you tell me who you talked to today? What did you say? Did you mention me? Did you think of me? How many times did you think of me? I want to know all of these. Before you met me, who else did you interact with? Are they male or female? How did you meet them? What is your relationship with them? Did you deliberately hide anything from me? Do you keep in touch frequently? Then why don't you come and chat with me? Am I boring? Clearly, I'm enough. You should keep your distance from anyone. Everything should revolve around me. Besides me, you can't care more about anyone else. Please, my dear, I will go crazy without you. I beg you not to do anything that disgusts me. You don't want things to get worse, do you?

你用情头的时候我差点没喘过来气我手抖得厉害眼泪在眼睛里打转看了你和那个女孩子的空间和资料卡两个小时看了一遍又一遍的对话框熬了四个小时我知道我们之间永远都不可能我打算删除你的所有联系方式的时候不小心点到了第五人格玩的扣1

When you used your profile picture, I almost couldn't catch my breath. My hands were shaking and tears were rolling in my eyes. I spent two hours looking at your and that girl's space and profile card, and watched the dialog box over and over again for four hours. I knew it would never be possible between us. When I was about to delete all your contact information, I accidentally clicked on Identity V and played it.

宝贝我不是故意不回你消息的我刚刚手机不小心掉进了马里亚纳海沟，本来进水手机已经报废了，但为了回你的消息，它居然自己打开了摄像头来充当眼睛又开启手电筒当照明，还用手机自带的地图导航了回家的路线他又开着震动模式不断的划水从海底游了上去一路上它风餐露宿，渴了就喝几口海水，没电了就找电鳗充电得亏被海盗捞了上来，被卖到了非洲，还好它很聪明的连上了非洲酋长家的WiFi，给我发了求救信号，我才能打飞的翻山越岭地去把它给救回来

Baby, I didn't mean to not reply to your message. I just accidentally dropped my phone into the Mariana Trench. Originally, the phone was already scrapped due to water damage, but in order to reply to your message, it actually turned on the camera to act as an eye and turned on the flashlight as lighting. It also used the phone's built-in map to navigate the route home. It turned on the vibration mode and kept swimming up from the bottom of the sea. Along the way, it lived in the open air, drank a few mouthfuls of seawater when it was thirsty, and charged the electric eel when it ran out of power. Luckily, it was caught by pirates and sold to Africa. Fortunately, it was smart enough to connect to the WiFi of the African chief's house and send me a distress signal, so I could fly over mountains and rivers to rescue it

炸鸡腿还没吃就掉在了地上，我骂了30分钟又捡起来吃了，因为我的嘴更脏

The fried chicken leg fell to the ground before I ate it. I scolded for 30 minutes and picked it up again because my mouth was dirtier

如果你每天喝五公斤的水，你就不会有时间去理会别人的屁事，因为你一整天都在忙着尿尿，为了身心健康没事就多喝水吧

If you drink five kilograms of water every day, you won't have time to care about other people's business because you're busy peeing all day. Drink more water for your physical and mental health

有人喜欢玩养成类游戏吗，每天给我一百块看我茁壮成长

Does anyone like to play nurturing games? Give me 100 yuan a day and watch me grow up strong

我不是个好丈夫，不是个好父亲，也不是个好儿子，那又怎样呢。我一个女孩子。

I am not a good husband, father, or son, so what? I am a girl.

我们先谈恋爱再互相了解好吗这样你就可以让我陪你做一切你想做的事情了你想看动画我就陪你打王者荣耀你想打电话我就陪你打王者荣耀你想打游戏我就陪你打王者荣耀你想聊天我就陪你打王者荣耀

Let's date first and then get to know each other, okay? Then you can let me accompany you to do everything you want. If you want to watch animations, I'll play King of Glory with you. If you want to make a phone call, I'll play King of Glory with you. If you want to play games, I'll play King of Glory with you. If you want to chat, I'll play King of Glory with you

我搞抽象怎么你了？不搞抽象又怎么样呢？每当我流泪的时候，是那些抽象文案治愈了我。每当我寂寞的时候，是那些抽象文案陪伴着我。你凭什么指责我对抽象文案的爱？你不搞抽象，也不懂我。我们终究不是一路人，绝交吧。

What's wrong with me doing abstraction? So what if I don't do abstraction? Whenever I cry, it's those abstract copywriting that heals me. Whenever I feel lonely, it's those abstract copywriting that accompanies me. Why do you accuse me of loving abstract copywriting? You don't do abstraction, and you don't understand me. We are not on the same path after all, let's end our friendship.

😚大小姐🌃It's time⏰ to go to bed💤💤又在看手机📱呢？🌙熬夜的话🤡皮肤会变坏的🤭最后的警告⚠️⚠️现在还不睡的话🤫我就要跳舞了💃🏻💃🏻呀嘞呀嘞^^拦不住的大小姐

😚 Miss 🌃 It's time ⏰ to go to bed 💤💤 looking at the phone 📱? 🌙 stay up late 🤡 skin will be bad 🤭 final warning ⚠️⚠️ if you don't sleep now 🤫 I'm going to dance 💃🏻💃🏻

建议大家多宣传我们纯恨战士。俗话说得好：恨比爱长久。纯爱战士可能是表演型人格，我们纯恨战士实打实的恨所有人。我们干一行恨一行，三百六十行行行出仇人。上学恨老师，军训恨教官，小组作业恨同学，期末恨学科，放假恨火车，工作了恨领导恨同事，考驾照恨教练，坐地铁恨冰凉铁椅子，做头发恨Tony。恨才能感受生命的真实，爱一个人可能是装的，但恨一个人带来的刺痛是很难忘怀的。

It is suggested that we promote our pure hatred for soldiers more. As the saying goes, hatred lasts longer than love. Pure love for soldiers may be a performative personality, but we truly hate everyone. We hate every line of work, and every line of work creates enemies. We hate teachers in school, instructors in military training, colleagues in group assignments, subjects in final exams, trains during holidays, leaders and colleagues at work, coaches when taking driver's licenses, cold iron chairs on the subway, and Tony when doing hair. Only by hating can we feel the truth of life. Loving someone may be fake, but the pain brought by hating someone is unforgettable.

少玩抽象吧。。。我之前给crush发小作文，对面沉默了半分钟然后缓缓发来一句“没见过这个文案，拿了”

Stop playing with abstractions...... I sent a short essay to my crush before, and the other side was silent for half a minute and then slowly sent me a sentence, "I haven't seen this copy before. Take it."

不行就互删吧，我一边喂猪一边等你消息，时间太漫长了，我总安慰自己是村里信号不好，今天村子里建5G基地了，我再也骗不过我自己了

Let's delete each other if it doesn't work. I'll wait for your message while feeding the pigs. It's been too long. I always comfort myself that the signal in the village is bad. Today, a 5G base was built in the village. I can't deceive myself anymore

首先我想说我一直是个很公平正义的人，我做错的地方我一定会道歉。其次，我没做错过任何事情

First of all, I want to say that I have always been a fair and just person, and I will definitely apologize for any mistakes I make. Secondly, I have never done anything wrong

天生我才必有用，但我不是天生的，我是妈妈生的

I was born to be useful, but I wasn't born that way. I was born to my mother

你说得对，但是有一个小问题：谁问你了？我的意思是，谁在意？我告诉你，根本没人问你，在我们之中0人问了你，我把所有问你的人都请来 party 了，到场人数是0个人，誰问你了？WHO ASKED？谁问汝矣？誰があなたに聞きましたか？누가 물어봤어？

You're right, but there's a small problem: who asked you? I mean, who cares? I tell you, no one asked you at all, 0 of us asked you, I invited everyone who asked you to the party, there were 0 people present, asked you? WHO ASKED? Who asked you? きましたか？누가 물어봤어？

喜欢玩捆绑的私聊我，这几天家里包粽子差人手

If you like to play bundled games, please private message me. I need help to make zongzi at home these days

我提前说一下，我是文盲，和猫共用一个账号，如果这个账号发了不好的言论，那都是猫发的，对不起，我家猫刚学上网请大家谅解，骂人的都是猫，猫四个爪子，比我打字快。

I want to say in advance that I am illiterate and share an account with my cat. If this account posts negative comments, they are all from my cat. I'm sorry, my cat just learned how to use the internet, please forgive me. Cats are the ones who curse at people. They have four paws and can type faster than me.

妈呀原来是你，你还记得我吗，咱俩从小就不认识，小时候我在我家玩，你在你家玩!

Oh my god, it's you. Do you remember me? We haven't known each other since we were kids. When we were kids, I played at my house and you played at yours!

上班我有五不做:1.会做的我不做，因为学不到新东西2.不会做的我不做我都不会做我怎么做3.急的事我不做，急了容易出错4.不急的事我不做，不急我做什么5.不想做的我不做，我不想做我怎么做

I have five things I don't do at work: 1. I don't do what I can do because I can't learn new things. 2. I don't do what I can't do. I don't know how to do it. 3. I don't do urgent things because it's easy to make mistakes. 4. I don't do things that are not urgent. If it's not urgent, what can I do? 5. I don't do things I don't want to do. If I don't want to do it, how can I do it?

本人急需用钱，转让大二学位一个，22年9月入学的，才学了一点点、还有很多知识等待探索、平时一直在摆烂，没舍得学，八成新，假一赔十，真心好学校，另赠送余下9门考试，价格私聊，买不起的可以帮忙宣传，但别捣乱。另外，谁还没有急用钱的时候，谁也别笑话谁

I urgently need money to transfer a sophomore degree. I enrolled in September 2022 and have only learned a little bit. There is still a lot of knowledge waiting to be explored. I have been slacking off and have not been willing to learn. It is 80% new. Ten compensations for one fake. It is a really good school. In addition, the remaining 9 exams are given away. The price can be discussed privately. If you cannot afford it, you can help promote it, but do not cause trouble. In addition, who has not urgently needed money? Don't laugh at anyone

抽象真好缺爱了发个朋友圈能说我在抽象嘴瘾犯了聊个骚能说我在抽象但是老子心都掏出来了你说你在抽象你妈的

Abstraction is really good. If you lack love, you can send Moments and say I'm abstract. If you're addicted to talking, you can chat and say I'm abstract. But I've already taken out my heart. If you say you're abstract,

我再说最后一遍以后安卓机跟我聊天要提前跟我预约苹果手机的话可以随便但是安卓你必须要跟我预约我才会聊天还有安卓机别复制粘贴我的文案

I'll say it one last time. From now on, if you want to chat with me on an Android phone, you need to make an appointment with me in advance. If you want to chat with me on an iPhone, you can do whatever you want, but if you want to chat with me on an Android phone, you must make an appointment with me. Also, don't copy and paste my text on an Android phone

今天gap day，穿上始祖鸟的冲锋衣，头戴着Ralph Lauren 棒球帽，裤子穿 Lululemon 瑜伽裤，手腕戴着Apple Watch，耳朵里塞着AirPods ，手里端着手冲的冰美式，脚穿 Salomon 鞋，背着 The North Face 的双肩包，包里放着MacBook Pro ，骑着Brompton去 wagas 吃一顿轻食，夜晚先搞个citywalk 去lv联名书店580块买个帆布bag，再去武康路戴个耳机跟着老外无声dancing，累了回到20平老破小合租房睡几个gap hour

Today is a gap day. I put on an Archaeopteryx jacket, a Ralph Lauren baseball cap, Lululemon yoga pants, an Apple Watch on my wrist, a AirPods in my ear, an ice Americano in my hand, Salomon shoes, a backpack from The North Face, and a MacBook Pro in my bag. I rode Brompton to Wagas for a light meal. At night, I took a citywalk to the LV joint bookstore for 580 yuan to buy a canvas bag, and then went to Wukang Road to wear headphones and dance silently with foreigners. When I was tired, I went back to a 20-square-meter old shared apartment to sleep for a few gap hours.

你说得对，但是宝宝我肚肚又打雷惹我要吃十个汉堡三十张披萨二十五个鸡翅十杯杨枝甘露五份慕斯蛋糕五份蛋糕罐子再来五份烧烤还有麻辣烫和一斤鸡柳再来五斤车厘子就问你给不给我买不给跳楼。

You're right, but baby, my stomach is thundering again. I want to eat ten hamburgers, thirty pizzas, twenty-five chicken wings, ten cups of mango, five mousse cakes, five cake cans, five more barbecues, spicy hot pot, one catty of chicken fillets, and five catty of cherries. If you don't, I'll jump off the building.

出微信全瑕一条消息都没有我真的没有想到人可以这么孤独

WeChat has no flaws, not a single message. I really didn't expect people to be so lonely

本人急用钱，转让雪碧一瓶。上个月1号买的，才喝了一小口，里面还有很多气，平时一直放在冰箱里面，没舍得喝。九成新，假一赔十，真心好喝，价格私聊。买不起的帮我宣传可以，但别捣乱。另外，谁还没有急用钱的时候，谁也别笑话谁。

I urgently need money and want to transfer a bottle of Sprite. I bought it on the 1st of last month and only took a small sip. There is still a lot of gas in it. I usually keep it in the fridge and don't want to drink it. It's 90% new and ten compensations for one fake. It's really good. Please private message me about the price. If you can't afford it, please help me promote it, but don't cause trouble. Also, don't laugh at anyone who doesn't urgently need money.

恋爱我有7不谈。第一，异性我不谈，相互不理解，性格不合。第二，同性我不谈，相互理解太多，没意思。第三，活人我不谈，我自己是活人，不用再谈活人。第四，亖人我不谈。第五，比我大的我不谈，无法沟通。第六，比我小的我不谈，我自己照顾不好，还要照顾他？第七，年纪跟我一样的我不谈，没有新鲜感。

I don't date 7 people. Firstly, I don't date people of the opposite sex because we don't understand each other and our personalities don't match. Secondly, I don't date people of the same sex because we understand each other too much and it's boring. Thirdly, I don't date people who are alive because I am alive and don't need to date people anymore. Fourthly, I don't date people who are older than me because we can't communicate. Sixthly, I don't date people who are younger than me because I can't take care of them myself. Seventh, I don't date people who are the same age as me because there is no freshness.

你手上的钱刚刚是不是叫我主人了？天杀的抢劫犯，我一眼就认出这是我的钱，快把我的钱还给我，我想它想得一天都吃不起三顿饭了，我要报警抓你

Did you just call me master with the money in your hand? robber, I recognized it as my money at a glance. Give me back my money quickly. I think it can't even afford three meals a day. I'm going to call the police to catch you

亲爱的嫂子见字如面我们分开后我没有找其他的人因为他们身上总会有你的影子我这一生最幸福的时候就是嫂子你说愿意的时候嫂子开门我是我哥

Dear sister-in-law, seeing each other is like seeing each other. After we separated, I didn't look for anyone else because there will always be your shadow on them. The happiest time of my life was when you said yes, sister-in-law, and she opened the door. I am my brother

兄弟只能是兄弟呀，兄弟是不可能变成妻子的，变成妻子之后还怎么坦荡地拍肩携手仗剑走天涯？变成妻子以后就只能一块躲在被窝里跌入爱欲温床情不知所起…不我的意思是兄弟，抱歉，兄弟你好香

Brothers can only be brothers. Brothers cannot become wives. After becoming wives, how can they openly pat their shoulders and walk around the world with swords in hand? After becoming wives, they can only hide in bed together and fall into a warm bed of love without knowing where it comes from... No, I mean brothers. Sorry, brother, you smell good

叔叔，这您就不懂了，这是思维驰学习机，林老师教您孩子野外生存，马老师教水管维修，鱿老师教美术，有了思维驰学习机，您孩子一定能在学业上更上一层楼！

Uncle, you don't understand this. This is the Thinking Chi learning machine. Teacher Lin teaches your child how to survive in the wild, Teacher Ma teaches water pipe maintenance, and Teacher Qu teaches art. With the Thinking Chi learning machine, your child will definitely be able to reach a higher level in their studies!

有时候真的很想跪下来求自己别玩手机了结果发现跪着也能玩手机

Sometimes I really want to kneel down and beg myself not to play with my phone, but I find that I can also play with my phone while kneeling

我把真心交给她，她合并成聊天记录转发出去。但是我查过了，她的星座个性就是喜欢分享

I gave my sincerity to her, and she merged it into chat records and forwarded it. But I checked, and her zodiac personality is that she likes to share

你老公到底是干什么工作的情人节转账七夕节转账生日转账 520转账 521转账 61转账每周四还给你转账你老公那个工作还招不招人

What does your husband do for a living? He transfers money on Valentine's Day, Qixi Festival, birthday, 520, 521, and 61. He also transfers money to you every Thursday. Is your husband's job still hiring?

视奸完毕没发现什么异常但是感觉你有点受欢迎了你朋友好多啊跟他们绝交吧我觉得你有我就够了

After watching the , I didn't find anything unusual, but I feel that you are a bit popular. You have a lot of friends. Break up with them. I think having me is enough for you

我这种顶级s竟然调教不了自己的作息

I, a top S, can't even manage my own schedule

呃。。。星巴克也就那样吧。。可能我要求比较高我不喜欢机器流水线出来的产品😂一点都不chill 像我在家都是直接嚼咖啡豆的很real

Um... Starbucks is just so-so... maybe I have higher requirements, I don't like products produced by machine assembly lines 😂 not chill at all like I chew coffee beans directly at home, very real

首先我想说我一直是个很公平正义的人，我做错的地方我一定会道歉。其次，我没做错过任何事情

First of all, I want to say that I have always been a fair and just person, and I will definitely apologize for any mistakes I make. Secondly, I have never done anything wrong

大家早上好，吃过早饭的好，没吃过的也好，有对象的好，没对象的跟我好。

Good morning everyone, those who have had breakfast are welcome, those who haven't are welcome, those who have partners are welcome, and those who don't have partners are welcome to me.

月亮不睡你不睡，你是人间小美味，凌晨三点还发霉，祝你头发掉成鬼分享666

If the moon doesn't sleep, you won't sleep. You are a little delicacy in the world. You are still moldy at 3am. I wish your hair would fall out like a ghost. Share 666.

每天 8 杯水计划：上午 1 杯可乐，下午 1 杯奶茶，晚上 6 瓶啤酒

Daily 8-glass water plan: 1 cup of cola in the morning, 1 cup of milk tea in the afternoon, and 6 bottles of beer in the evening

我很好骗，我对感情没底线，我就是恋爱脑又好骗又好笑，能忍住一大堆情绪还装作没事的样子，在没感到被爱的瞬间我会不争气的掉眼泪，我知道我没本事和你在一起，所以只能眼巴巴望着你希望你能对我施舍一些你的爱。

I am easy to deceive. I have no bottom line in love. I am a love-addled person who is both easy to deceive and funny. I can hold back a lot of emotions and pretend nothing is wrong. In the moment when I don't feel loved, I will cry uncontrollably. I know I don't have the ability to be with you, so I can only look at you and hope that you can give me some of your love.

你说我把感情当游戏，无语，你知道我打游戏有多认真吗分享666

You said I treat emotions as a game, speechless. Do you know how seriously I play games? Share 666.

有存款的都互删吧，大家都这么穷，就你有钱，心机这么重，谁知道以后能干出什么见不得人的事儿来搜狐网

Those who have savings should delete each other. Everyone is so poor, only you have money. With such a heavy mind, who knows what shameful things you can do in the future. Come to Sohu.com

幸亏长得丑，没经历过各位的爱恨情仇

Fortunately, I am ugly and have not experienced everyone's love and hate

看到天上的星星了吗？都是我打排位掉的

Did you see the stars in the sky? They were all dropped by me playing ranked games

我怀疑是不是所有老板都有恐高症，为什么工资都给这么低

I suspect that all bosses have acrophobia, why are salaries so low?